UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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