i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
