she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
