Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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