Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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