on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
