I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize