I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
