if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
