Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
