Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
