The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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