just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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