I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
