I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
