my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
