I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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