i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
