i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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