I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
