I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
