We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
