considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
