It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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