nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
