And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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