I wanna bring you to show and tell
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
