Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
