I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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