I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
