Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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