Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
