Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
