PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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