So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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