Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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