Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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