dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
