home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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