He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
