thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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