So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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