We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
How external is "for external use only"?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
