You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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