I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
