remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
