My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
