Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
