how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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