I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Michael Bay diarrhea
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
