So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
