so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
