I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
