i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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