i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
