My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
