I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
