I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You made out with two different species that night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
