Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
