That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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