If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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