There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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