Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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