i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
