I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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