I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
