Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
