I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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