Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Floor bacon is actually really good
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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