do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
