Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
