She is in my trunk
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In other news, I just burned my penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
