Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
